On April 22nd 2015 at 9:50pm I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was born sleeping, 20 weeks too early, perfectly formed with  toes and hands literally no bigger than his Daddy's finger tip. We named him Henry Lewis Gerard Ford and he was our first born son. He was a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin and a friend and his loss left us shattered. We have no other word to describe our state of being after this loss except as broken. Our baby was much longed for and so very loved. We won't go into the awful circumstances that resulted in his early birth as they are quite complex and bring only sad, anxious memories when the important point is that our baby existed, he was here and he was so very special.

Until now we weren't ready to talk about this with people other than family and friends but Henry's "should have been" due date is approaching and we feel it's time he is acknowledged in a larger forum. For those who haven't experienced this type of loss we pray you never know the unimaginable pain it brings. For those that have, our hearts ache for you and your angels.

Because the memories can be overwhelmingly painful at times, we try not to focus on the sadness but instead choose to embrace the beauty that Henry, purely by existing, left in our lives. It's taken some time to get to this point but a negative legacy is not the legacy our baby deserves because he taught us so much in his short life.

Henry taught us how to be strong. He taught us to be brave. He taught us how fragile life is, to savour every moment and to live gently and peacefully. He showed us that we can't control everything all the time and sometimes that's ok. He reminded us of the incredible love and strength of our friends and family and taught us to always show gratitude for the the people we have in our lives. He taught us that we may never know someone else's story and we should try and live without judging others. He taught us to have faith over fear. Most importantly our little Henry taught us love in it's most pure, unconditional form.

Our children change us. They are supposed to. They change who we are and how we approach the world, our perceptions and our relationships. Despite the tragedy surrounding Henry's birth and our  overwhelming sadness that he didn't have the opportunity to live a full life; to learn, to grow and to have all the adventures he should have, we don't want Henry's memory to be only associated with sadness or bitterness over all the memories we wish we got to make with our little boy. Don't get us wrong, we know we will at times, for the rest of our lives, have moments where we can't fight these negative feelings and we will always question why this happened. For the most part though we want Henry's legacy to be one of light, love and positivity and one that changed us for better not worse.

Henry was due in the first week of September and as this time approaches we have set up a fund-raising page to honour our little man and to support Bears of Hope, an incredible organisation offering support to those who have lost their babies and who helped us immensely when we needed it.

Please donate. Please share this link. Whether it's a little or a lot, your donation will help to bring a Mum and Dad somewhere some peace and comfort, perhaps just a moment of but believe us when we say that even a single moment of peace helps. Thankyou in advance for both your donation and for taking the time to read our story. Both are appreciated more than you will ever know.

A moment in our arms and a lifetime in our hearts, Henry Lewis Gerard, we will always remember you and we will always love you. Rest peacefully baby boy xx